Try it

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All you own

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Think About It

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Sunrise in Owasso, OK 1/18/22

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So True

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Bowlophobia

“A child’s education should begin at least one hundred years before he is born.”

Members of the senior citizen’s community deal with the aging process every day.

Bowlophobia or fear of the toilet bowl is one of those afflictions.

In a broader sense, it is a very real concern of becoming a permanent fixture in the bathroom.

It begins innocently enough when one day you notice some difficulty standing up after a brief moment on the throne.

Inevitably, this develops into panic as the difficulty progresses to almost impossible.

You can’t stand up. You’re trapped. In the bathroom. On the throne. With your pants down. You would rather die than call for help. Such ignominy.

Meanwhile, on the home front, Mike Rowe is my new hero. Just sayin.

“That which can be asserted without evidence, can be dismissed without evidence.” – Christopher Hitchen

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Whatever

“I’m very accepting with my age. It’s like notches on my belt. Experience…and a different kind of beauty.” – Joe Saldana

I’m tired. Tired of all the vitriol and abrasive human interaction. Recently this weariness, calmly, came over me. Like a quiet thought.

As I listened to another mind numbing bashing on TV, it came over me.

As I dealt with yet another senseless personal disagreement with another human being on some inane matter, it came over me.

Being at odds with any human beings has, at this moment in my life, finally breached my willingness to engage in controversy.

Seems to me that true compassion, real understanding, and real civil action can be achieved without another person’s approval.

I’ve now crossed the threshold to the whatever stage of my life.

 “If you haven’t cried, your eyes can’t be beautiful.” – Sofia Loren

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A Guy and His Rolls Royce.

“Everyone admits that love is wonderful and necessary, but no one can agree on what it is.” – Diane Ackerman

Another day at my part time gig. Managing a local car wash.

As I pull up to the Crystal Clean Car Wash, I see a guy washing what looks like a Rolls Royce in bay one.

Now that was an odd sight I had to check out.

He was scrubbing the tires as I walked up and asked: “Is that a Rolls Royce?” That was the catalyst to a very interesting and surprising conversation.

It was indeed a Rolls Royce. A 2004 model with 75,000 miles on it. With a V-12 engine that got 17 mpg.

It was beautiful. Not a scratch on it. And his pride was obvious as he gave me the tour. As he opened the doors an explosion of real leather and wood washed over my eyes.

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The conversation eventually evolved into life growing up in Tulsa and family.

He was especially proud of his son who was an extremely gifted athlete. He excelled in all sports but especially Soccer.He played on U.S. World Cup teams as well as professionally in the English Premiere League.

And he was inducted into the U.S. College Hall of Fame. Very impressive for a guy from Tulsa, OK.

He even owned the Tulsa Roughnecks for several years.

All in all he was a super nice guy and it was my pleasure meeting him.

I hope he remembers me in his will. Just kidding.

So……if you happen upon a guy in a self-service car wash washing a Rolls Royce…………talk to him. You never know.

“Sometimes you just stumble into something that works…” – Pat Sajak

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Never Ever

“We are cursed with the tendency to overthink things which can result in negative thoughts that we not only replay in our minds, but also share with other people – to their chagrin.”

A recent 12 hour span was a challenge.

It came upon me innocently during a broadcast of Wheel of Fortune. There I was, a striking figure of repose in my recliner, trying to solve the puzzle when suddenly my brain sent signals of impending disaster. I mean it was that quick. And I knew exactly what was required. I had to move fast. Real fast.

I did not make it. I failed the test. Miserably.

And it did not end. The scenario repeated roughly every 2 hours until the dawn.

I struggled out of bed weak and exhausted. Finally an end to the ordeal.

My advice to you is never, ever mix prunes with a laxative.

“There ain’t no way to find out why a snorer can’t hear himself snore.” – Mark Twain

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Gravitiy

 “I’m so old I put tenderizer on my pudding.”

I have gone 78 revolutions around the Sun. 78!!

Only to come Face to face with an enemy. A tried and true nemesis.

GRAVITY.

Senior citizens fall in slow motion. Ever notice that?

Watch an old person fall. They take forever to hit the ground.

I know. I did.

I defied gravity. Eventually it won but before I bounced off the floor I had time to think.

Recently I strolled over to the counter stool and sat.

I’m sure you’ve experienced that moment when equilibrium leaves and arm waving leads to that moment you realize all is not right with your world.

I plop my butt on the stool a bit too casually. A big mistake.

I am falling.

And the fall won’t be denied. I will hit the ground. I give in.

And begin to think:

Will this hurt?

I hope nobody sees this.

And then………………Bonk. I hit.

I take stock of the situation.

Wow. I feel ok.

God, I hope no one saw this. Wait! I just defied death and my only concern is whether anyone witnessed this incredibly clumsy act.

Priorities you know. Priorities.

“In school, you’re taught a lesson and then given a test. In life, you’re given a test that teaches you a lesson.”  – Tom Bodet

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